Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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