Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
he wants to bone in the snuggie
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
