I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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