If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Randomize
