I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Randomize
