I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
She's like a pop up book from hell.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
