Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
