I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
