no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Someone came in the potted fern
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
