when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
