Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
