i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
