Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
