I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
