He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I got inside last night via doggy door
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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