He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
