He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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