Where is the hickey?
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize