Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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