she smelled like a LAN party
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
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