hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
