he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
