I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
