This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Randomize
