i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
