Non-Jews are for practice
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
