Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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