Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize
