if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Someone signed my nipple.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
