I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
