I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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