My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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