i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Less talking, more tequila
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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