i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I stole a fireplace last night.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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