Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
