my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
