why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
