"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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