i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Randomize
