Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
