She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
