i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Someone signed my nipple.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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