I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
