So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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