I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
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