Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
