i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
