Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
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