She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Randomize
