So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
