He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
